


Stay

by themalfoyboy



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-08
Updated: 2016-11-08
Packaged: 2018-08-29 23:06:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8509081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themalfoyboy/pseuds/themalfoyboy
Summary: Written for the lovely Sam's (@knox-moreau on tumblr) Foxhole Court fic competition! Hope you all like it xx





	

“Good morning, Jean,” Rachel greeted him as he walked through her office door. It was almost a month after Jean had joined the USC Trojans, and time for his first one-on-one meeting with the team psychologist. “How are you?” she asked genuinely. Jean took a seat in the plush armchair across from her. “Fine, thank you” he said stiffly, and adjusted his posture so he was sitting up straighter. It was a force of habit after years of being welcomed into a superior’s office at Edgar Allen and having to be well presented, knowing that you were already in enough trouble. “How has life at USC been treating you?” Rachel asked. Jean sighed. It was a difficult question, one that he himself had pondered many times. “It’s not bad” he started, “just… different.” Rachel nodded. “That’s completely understandable Jean, especially after coming from where you’ve come from. Can you tell me how you feel about the new routine you’ve adapted to with the Trojans? Any sleeping problems?” Jean shook his head. “Not exactly. It’s just…” he trailed off. “You can be honest with me, Jean” Rachel said. “I’m here to help you work through any complicated feelings you’ve been having. And trust me, if you don’t work through them now, they’ll just sit on your conscience and gradually develop into something worse. I’ve seen it before. It’s so much better to get it out now, even if it’s just something small. Having someone else who will listen takes so much weight off your shoulders, I promise.” Jean thought about it for a second, and decided to take a chance.  


“I thought it was hard waking up in the Raven’s Nest. I guess after years of it, I adapted. Somehow, waking up here is harder. I feel like i’ve escaped hell, but like my leave is only temporary. Like i’m expected to be back there on that goddamn court running through drills in that oppressive black uniform until I pass out from exhaustion” he said. “I can’t bring myself to wake up any later than 5am, because that’s when Riko made us wake up to start practice, but instead of waking up to him growling in my ear, I wake up to feeling the sun’s heat on my legs. I’m not used to it. The Raven’s Nest was always a place of darkness, of pain, of suffering. California is its exact antithesis.” Rachel nodded, and from the look on her face, she was happy to keep listening to him and not interject just yet.  


“After years and years of discipline, of regimented training and authoritarian rule, I’m tired. Being here, I’ve learned to appreciate how easy it is to live without that pressure. At Edgar Allen, they made us wake up and start training at five, without eating or drinking, and we weren’t allowed to stop until eight, even if we were about to pass out due to the sheer dehydration. At USC, mornings are slow, lazy. Even though I’ve been conditioned to obey the mental alarm that wakes me up so early, everyone else doesn’t rise until seven at the earliest, even eight if they don’t have classes that day. Laila doesn’t wake up until two in the afternoon on a Sunday, cause she told me that if God says it’s a rest day, that’s good enough for her.” Rachel laughed. “So have you gotten used to sleeping later?” she asked. “No. I still wake up at five” Jean replied. “So what do you do then? Until everyone else wakes up?” Rachel asked. “I used to just lie in bed thinking. But that became near maddening pretty quickly. So I decided to do something productive instead. I run the four mile circuit around USC, that takes me about half an hour, and then I work out at the gym for another hour. Nothing too strenuous, just a few weights. By the time I leave, the campus looks a little livelier.” “How has that been going for you?” Rachel asked. “Well, it’s new, and different. But I think I like it. I’ve definitely gotten used to it, anyway.”  


“And what about the other Trojans? How’s practice going?” Rachel questioned. “At first I thought it was so weird, how Jeremy runs his practice sessions.” Rachel laughed. “He’s pretty cavalier, isn’t he?” Jean nodded. “I couldn’t understand. I was used to running impossible drills, being pushed to my limits, accepting punishment if I did something wrong. But Jeremy does none of that. He cares about them, how they’re feeling. He makes them sit out of a drill, or even an entire practice if they’re sick or injured. He makes sure that they have enough breaks, and sometimes brings along some kind of candy to motivate them if they played a particularly rough game that weekend. He also asks whether they like doing a certain drill, if they want to stop or run a different one. It’s like he’s not in charge, like he’s sharing his leadership with them.” “With you as well, Jean. It’s not you and them. You are one of them now.” Rachel reminded him. “I know that. And i’ve been trying to accept it.” Rachel smiled. “Good. That’s great, Jean. I’m really glad to hear that.”  


“And how about the dorms? Are you comfortable there? Is Jeremy okay to live with?” Jean opened his mouth to speak, but shut it just as quickly. He hoped it was fast enough that Rachel didn’t notice, but he wasn’t that lucky. “What is it Jean? Is it Jeremy? Do you not get along with him?” Rachel questioned, her thin brows furrowing. “No, it’s not that at all.” Jean insisted. “What is it then?” Rachel asked, head cocking to one side curiously. Jean sighed, coming to the realisation that because he had answered Rachel’s other questions so honestly, he might as well just bite the bullet and tell her. “I think I like him too much” he spoke, looking down at his hands, unable to look the psychologist in the eyes. “That’s fantastic Jean!” Rachel exclaimed, causing Jean’s head to snap up. “What?” he said, shocked. “That’s great, that you’ve developed feelings for someone when you’ve had such a hard time this year. Leaving the Ravens after so many years, coming to a completely different state where you know virtually no one, having to make so many adjustments in your life. You’ve done so well Jean, I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for you. But you’ve adapted so well and you’ve fallen in love, which is-” “What? No, no, no i’m not in love with Jeremy” Jean insisted. He thought about it for a moment. “At least I don’t think I am.” Rachel smirked. “Really?” Jean frowned, considering her statement. “No, I’m definitely not. I mean, I don’t even know what it is about him that I find so fascinating. He’s a self-confessed comic book nerd, he snores like a jackhammer when he sleeps, and he can't seem to help himself from ordering every junk food item off the menu when we go out to eat after practice sometimes.” “Like on dates?” Rachel smiled. “No, like with other people. He doesn’t like me, Rachel,” Jean said. “How can you be sure, Jean?” Rachel asked. Jean admitted defeat. “Fine, I’m not sure. But he couldn’t be.” “What makes you think that?” Rachel asked.  


Jean quieted, taking a moment to think about his frustratingly beautiful roommate. Yeah Jeremy had flaws. Way more than even the ones Jean told Rachel then. But he was unlike any other person Jean had met before. He knew that Jeremy’s life hadn’t been easy; he didn’t know the specifics, but he knew that most nights Jeremy would wake drenched in sweat, gasping for air, heartbeat almost loud enough for him to hear from his bed on the other side of the room. Yet somehow every day he was unfailingly happy. He greeted everyone warmly when he walked past them on the sidewalk. He respected and cared for each and every one of his Trojans in such an admirable way, a way that Jean could never imagine caring for anyone. And every night, without fail, Jeremy would call his mom and siblings to talk about how their day was, like he was still at home with them.  


“Because he deserves so much better,” he finally answered Rachel. The psychologist shook her head. “You clearly don’t see yourself the way other people do,” she said, and stood from her chair. Jean wanted to ask her what she could possibly mean by that, but Rachel was already at the door, opening it for him. “Sounds like you have a lot to think about, Jean” she said. Jean looked back at her, and nodded. “Yeah, I think I do.” He walked out into the waiting room, where Jeremy was waiting to take him back to the dorms, seeing as Jean didn’t yet have a car. “You ready, Moreau?” Jeremy asked, shooting him a quick, yet still breathtaking smile before turning to walk out of the clinic. Jean looked back at Rachel, who stood in the doorway of her office, and was looking at the two of them knowingly.  


When he saw that look, Jean realised that despite every thought in his mind telling him otherwise, he could never run away from USC. And it wasn’t because of his fatigue after years of caution, or the fact that he had nowhere to go. It was because Jeremy Knox had snuck past all of his defences and compelled him to stay, even though Jean wished more than anything that he could leave the USC campus under the forgiving darkness of the night.  


If it wasn’t for Jeremy, Jean would run away from the Trojans in a heartbeat. It is because of Jeremy that Jean decides to stay.


End file.
